well erm. juz came back from syf camp..
so gotta rmb everything...
one word. stress.
yep. most stressful prac ever. and the feeling..is somewhat familiar..
like from last year..i think something bad happened
and playing the instrument just made it worse
what i cant rmb since i tend to forget bad things...ill memories be gone!
well the feeling is horrible actually. i feel uncomfy when i think about it..
its like..i juz wanna run to the toilet let everything out and come back new.
but obviously i cant. and yeah i hate holding everything back cuz it
juz makes all my notes silent. heh. and hema was like...
well not any better hahaa. joey was actually like no feeling at first.
so i dunno when in the world she starting sobbing.
i held everything back like super well. until! shelly came and sat beside me..
and i made even more mistakes. and gasp! mistakes overload! breakdown!
worse is..got this feeling like we let our jrs down? i dun like it. and they really nice and all.
and now they kinda feel like younger sisters. which i always wanted?
yep basically its juz like tt. chim eh?
but i think it was something to do with our mind sets.
sometimes u get it sometimes u dont. and pressure makes kan cheong-ness.
and tt results mistakes.
but the good thing is...it actually created this...dying need to practice..?
its like a recharge..but no time! im like the free-est and the only one tt comes for every prac.
besides the jrs...and gayu wasnt here today or was she ytd or the coming monday.
so no sr. means gotta depend on ourselves!
the presentation was okae. but obviously not the best. and i made mistakes again! like a zillionth time..
but it moved the teachers to tears. haha im so touched tt theyre touched. feeling like crying! hhaha.
but i hope their judging with very high expectations. or it will mean we plainly...ahem.
chandni was a really big encouragement.she was really helping us when we felt like. failures? i guess. i nvr really used tt word on myself before. and i really wanted to go home but yeah. chan was great. judee oso ba.
they re like there for assurance..when we dunno if its right..or when we think we really play tt bad. like how they make us sound like we play..and we always get so thrown down the mountain.
all those "we can do it!" days added all up to today. boy.
oh and the part we always came in late is like ringing..and ringing...and ringing in my head...
frustration away!
obviously the camp was beneficial. so yeah.
being ONE is very important..something like we hardly do?
i got my presents' ingredient number one!
so yeah...got tuition tomoro then i can go buy my stuff. and go class.
very tiring noe...i wish i got a break. but obviously tt aint gonna happen.
another long stressful week with lotsa CHEM homework.
something i thot i would like. but turned out so so so wrong.
its so boring and i failed. expected eh.
all i wanna do now is just sleep.
i feel really tuba-loaded right now. but yeah.
i think it really makes our legs weak. i fell ytd..and almost slipped today.
ah. the bug is back! running is also getting harder..like one round and my legs start to wobble.
like super unstable. oh mann. 2.4 is gonna seriously suck.
really wanna type more but...
night.
*_GER!~